24-Hour Garage

I shuffle along in the deep, crisp, snow.
Looking for the 24-hour garage, which way do I go?

Need a peppered steak slice and a packet of skins,
Its so cold, hands have got needles and pins.

A police car goes by slowly, they stare at me,
because I'm inside an office doorway; having a wee.

"Go home to use the toilet if you need a piss..."
"...you're cock'll get frostbite when its as cold as this."

I apologise to the officers, because I made yellow snow,
So to the garage, off I go.

I find the garage, I'm there at last,
time for awkward conversation through four-inch glass.

He slides my shopping through the security draw,
six-pounds, fifty-seven! Bastard, now I'm poor.

Eventually get home, burn a spliff and watch Trisha,
Then bed to have a wank over Isla Fischer.