She's a wanker

She's always doing it when she comes back from the bank,
She goes to her room for a sly, cheeky, wank.

Like a kid with her favourite toy,
that she uses as a substitute for a boy.

She has another in the evening so she stays entertained,
Her only problem in life is keeping alkaline maintained.

She's not impressed with flowers or flattery,
She'll be happy if you buy her some batteries.