Worst Case Scenario

So I think I'm a bit of an entertainer, I give aV-sign to a woman--I had a 'no brainer'
But she's not blind, she's a guide-dog trainer, Now my mates have got to restrain her!

I'm giving my monkey a spanking, On what happend next I wasn't banking,
For humility, it's God that I'm thanking, My mum caught me wanking!

At work, flirting, feels good and its fun, Pointing at a fat customer with a massive bum,
"Urgh, she's rough, fat, fucking, scum!" Girls says; "That's my mum"

But if I do get with a fit, young, tart, And we're about to start,
She opens her legs wide apart....And I let out a rough fart!

Meeting In-laws for the first time then, Oh dear, My worst fear,
Got to their toilet coz of diohrea! Her Dad goes in just after; "What 'ave you done in here!?"

Like a papercut on the webbing of your right hand, it's the worst case scenario that I can't stand!